TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO:

 

I think the clothes range from what she wore from work all the way to home. I personally liked her home clothes way more than her work clothes. I think her work clothes are, specifically what I would wear for like fancy gatherings. Like her power suit I wore to, like multiple weddings. And the top I usually wear when I'm like, I want something to kind of like spice up my style, because I get so many compliments. And it's because especially here in the summer, it gets so hot and the clothes she has, like perfect for the summer, because it's so breathable. So in terms of function too, it's pretty awesome. Yeah. It's like function with like sentimentality. 

 

My grandma was very, like she had really tense OCD, so she liked keeping her outfits in like a chest like it was like legit like a treasure chest. So when we knew that she didn't have a lot of time left, my mom went back and basically collected a bunch of her clothes. When I visited her last with Jason, I went, I went through everything and I just basically like, took everything that I knew she would want to be like kept and stuff.

 

My grandma actually passed away last 2017 of September.

 

She had Alzheimer's later on in her life. And she, like growing up, she was always the the very logical, very practical businesswoman. When I was younger, she had to be like that strong independent woman for everyone because like she kind of raised the family like our whole bloodline from nothing to riches. My mom grew up very like, I would say privilege, like my mom grew up in a in a really rich community in the Philippines because of my grandmother's work. But my grandmother's family came from nothing like, I would remember stories of her telling me that she would have to like sell, like in the Philippines, and especially in Makati, like the city, like the downtown area of Manila, kids would sell like candy from like this wooden box to like cars like in traffic. So she was one of those kids like she would sell stuff. And she would just save money and save money until she saved enough to be able to go to New Zealand. She went to New Zealand and found an investor to start her own company. So she, she started one of the first like insurance companies in the Philippines. I found out later on in my life, that this whole time and my childhood, I thought that my grandfather owned the company, but my grandmother had to put him as the legal owner because they wouldn't get future investors if the company wasn't owned by a man. So that was pretty intense [laughs].

 

The story of how my family came to Canada was she sold the company, the insurance company that she built from scratch, she sold it and the money that she used from saving brought us here basically.

 

I loved keeping her home clothes more because I knew that was when she was the most vulnerable, and that's when I saw her the most beautiful was in her pambahay which is like house clothes, knowing the other side of her as like the businesswoman was really strange because like at home, she was just like the grandma that took care of all of us, cooked for us, like every Sunday and would take us to church. And then this whole time there was the other side of her that she had to kind of put up as to like, bring the family up. And that was the power suit. So I kept power suit. And if she wasn't wearing like a certain attire, if she didn't dress a certain way, people wouldn't take her seriously in the business. So there's a photo of her when she went to New Zealand for the first time of her in that outfit. And it's like just her in the middle. And then it's like a group of white men because New Zealand and those are like all the investors, she’s just in the middle like not giving a fuck. Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

 

So my favourite memory of me wearing the dress, because I wore that dress to this wedding, and the wedding was like dominantly like white. And so I just usually like I feel very self-conscious when I'm like in a in a space where like, I'm the only person of color. And so being in that space, I was like, ‘Oh my god, like I just want to like hide and like go away’. But then I was like, ‘No, I'm here I'm taking up space, I need to take up space because these people are never going to see like a brown woman in this closing ever again. So might as well give them a chance to like educate them’. A lot of people were just like ‘Where did you get that dress?’ and I’m like it's my grandmother's and it's nice to be like, to say that that I didn't get it from a store, I didn't, I didn't buy it, it's passed down.

 

Because I know that she once existed in these clothing, I feel her the most when I wear them. And that's why I call it like it's like my armour. I feel like almost stronger emotionally when I'm with them and I noticed that my mood is also like really like positive. So I don't know if it's like me being like spiritual but I almost feel like she's like walking like beside me whenever I wear the clothes.